Even as I write this post, I am filled with hesitation because I don’t want to close this chapter of “babies” in my life. I will always long for more babies. I don’t want to write about how we decided to stop having kids, but we did.
Our third sweet “Dootie” is 2 years old and she is pure joy. She smiles all the time, and giggles and snuggles, and gives so many kisses. She also pulls hair and is now learning how to pinch…so that’s fun.
BUT she brings so much to our lives that wouldn’t be there if we decided we were “done” at two kids. AND THAT’S WHY THIS IS SO HARD FOR ME.
When we decided to stop having kids, I couldn’t help but wonder who we are missing out on. Who is this other little person that I would love and cherish and not imagine living without? My husband doesn’t understand this sentiment, he keeps telling me, “but there is no other person. They aren’t alive.” Bless him. I know that.
So. You’re probably wondering WHY are we not having any more kids. Well. Even though I LONG for another baby, I’m also TIRED. I want to finally sleep through the night kinda tired. I’m excited to focus on the three kids we have and watch them grow and get to know who they are becoming. There is a lot to be lost moving on from having newborns and being pregnant, but there is also so much to gain.
I’m ready for my husband and I to have a vacation just the two of us. I’m excited to have deeper, longer conversations with my kids. I’m excited to have no more napping kids and be able to go places, explore more, and have more experiences with our family.
I am so sad to say goodbye to kicking in my stomach, first words, first laughs, and smiles. But I have to focus on all the firsts still to come. First day of school, first soccer game, first chapter books, first dates (!!!), and all the adventures to come.
We also want to be intentional about leaving space in our lives to help other people. We have discussed becoming an emergency foster family for kids who need a temporary safe place to stay. We also want to babysit for other people and give them free date nights, or weekends away. It’s just harder to do that, the more kids we have.
The last reason is well the biggest one. My husband is 1000% sure he is done. HAHA! He adores our three kids, and at the same time– doesn’t want anymore. He is so content and happy with our family size and so I’m leaning into that. I don’t want to stretch him too thin and know that even though I will always long for more kids—not everyone is the same way. <3
With that, we press on. We press on toward the future. And with every first word from my little “dootie” and every new thing she does, I hold onto it and take extra time to pay attention.
Because even though it’s her first, it’s also my last.
How did you decide when your family was complete?
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